Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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