no, he came in my armpit
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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