how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
false alarm. still invincible.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
