he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
