You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
