she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can tuck mytits in my pants
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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