What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
