i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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