No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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