i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
