i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
