these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
