it wasn't lemon gatorade
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
