HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
