I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
they need to just BURY HIM!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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