Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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