Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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