I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
