why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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