....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
