I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
