Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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