I look better un-naked...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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