the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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