You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
