Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
