Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
