she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's blow job season.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
