butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
