Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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