Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
