I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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