idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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