I want to have your abortion
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
