better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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