I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
