sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
