Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
