Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I would ride that face into the sunset
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
