That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
