i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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