the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
