I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
