I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
