Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
