i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
