drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
