Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
