Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
