I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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