You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
