I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
