the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
