I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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