She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize