i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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