so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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