i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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