i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Even my vagina gasped.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
