Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
