Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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