Do you still have your period?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
