put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's Friday. Sex?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You smell like a Billy Joel song
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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