We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
